Some time ago, seems like an eternity ago, All I wanted to do was fade away. I felt I didn’t have all it takes to be here on earth. The thought of everything made me feel like opting out of life, like, God, I’m not doing again, just take my life already because I was so sure then that God existed somewhere. What I was ignorant of at the time is that I don’t need to change for anyone or anything, I don’t need to get more in shape or out of shape, I don’t need to get prettier or uglier than I already am.
After years of struggling, I thought, what if I embrace my imperfections? I decided to focus on my beautiful imperfect life and adore it. I started spending time quieting down the burdensome voice of perfectionism, listening to my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, challenging my negativity, and I figured that I am such a smart human, geez! I didn’t realize how beautiful I was because I spent too much time focusing on statements like “if only I was”, “if only I wasn’t”, and the negative “what if(s)”. There are so many built systems that have influenced life so much that almost every individual lives by comparison. If you don’t measure up to the standard, you won’t feel fulfilled or satisfied and might just be used to the scent of depression.
Instead of stressing on questions like?
- What if I fail?
- What if they don’t like my idea?
- What if it doesn’t come out well?
- What if I never get good at it?
- What if people call me names and don’t support me?
- What if I fall and break a leg?
Try answering these;
- What if I succeed?
- What if people love my idea?
- What if it comes out well?
- What if I become perfect at it?
- What if my results are so excellent that people go out of their ways to support me?
- What if I do great?
You’ll realize that it’s much easier to ask and answer negative questions than it is for positives. Why?
The effect of comparing yourself to another is more disheartening than comforting especially when you only know the other party from a distance. There was a time in my life, all I ever wished for was to be the person I was perceived as, perfect. I avoided meeting people because they’ll eventually leave when they find out the real me, and it’s this way for so many people. The sad truth about comparison is that you’ll start living with the intense shame that you will never measure up and maybe you don’t even want to anymore!
You’ll find out even in scriptures that the prophet Elijah became burned-out at a point. From this text, you’ll also notice that Elijah compared himself to his fathers and he concluded that he wasn’t better than them. Comparison makes you feel less of yourself.
I suggest that you avoid comparison no matter how justifiable the scenario is. There will always be something you lack that someone else has and it’s normal. That’s life. It’s not easy, it wasn’t easy for me to stop then but I did and I’m glad I did.
Pressuring oneself to achieve unrealistic goals inevitably sets the person up for disappointment and that’s the case in perfectionism. It’s great to set goals, to see things perfect and orderly, but in a case where things are not, what do you do? Nothing is perfect. In extreme scenarios, people develop obsessive-compulsive disorder(OCD). OCD is a clinical disorder that may be associated with specific ritualized behavior or thoughts. Amazingly, most people with this disorder are very disorganized and have nothing figured out, I have a few of them around me. Take it easy on yourself, no pressure at all, you’ll be fine.
I may not be living THE best life,
I am living MY best life and that’s all that matters.
You should too.Praize Achom
You Are Enough!
I saw God’s response in scripture and I was completely blown away. No punishment, just help. God came through for Elijah, took care of him, he helped him realize that he is enough. The ending of that scripture points out that Elijah went on the strength of that meal 40days and 40nights. What kind of meal would that have been?? Post for another day lol. In your case, it might not be a meal, it could just be the right words you need to hear, God cares and is intentional about you.
In my brokenness, I started by taking conscious steps to believe that I don’t have to be someone else because God loves and accepts me just the way I am. To be clear on this, I don’t mean you shouldn’t listen to anyone, like a mentor. The place of a mentor can’t be overemphasized, you need someone to help you out especially when the person has the result you want to achieve. I decided to love myself for me, pay attention to my life, effectively journal, and guess what I realized?
Your greatest fear is not that you’ll fail, it is that you’ll do your best and it will come out great, that people will see your results and marvel, that you’ll be so good at what you do, that you’ll be proud of yourself and happy you started in the first place. Your greatest fear is SUCCESS.
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.Steve Jobs
- Deciding you’re good enough allows you to discover who you are.
- Deciding you’re good enough allows you to explore your abilities.
- Deciding you’re good enough allows you to derive joy and satisfaction in what you do.
- Deciding you’re good enough gives you space to grow and learn
- Deciding you’re good enough allows you to take baby steps
- Deciding you’re good enough teaches you to take responsibility for your life and actions.
- Finally, deciding you’re good enough can quietly change the world.
Be your motivation, inspiration, and drive, every other person or thing can leave. Being real and imperfect and showing up anyways offers hope, inspiration, and encouragement to others and this is, one of the most generous gifts of all.
Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.